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To gain control, let go

To gain control, let go

Is it me, or does life seem like it’s going 1000 mph sometimes?  Maybe it’s a result of being older and having many more responsibilities than I had in my youth.  Maybe it’s because I’m trying to juggle a small business, be a good parent, be a good husband, manage a house, take care of 2 pets, volunteer a few times a month, occasionally have a social life and once in a blue moon take time for myself.

Sometimes it feels like there’s just too much to do and too little time to do it and because of that there’s always an internal urge to gain more control.  More control of my time, my health, my business, my relationships, my life.

I think we can all relate to feeling over busy at times, and can relate to the concept of wanting more control in our lives.

As a personal development coach, I have many people reach out to me to help them get unstuck in their life, work or small business.  Getting in control of their life in all aspects is very important to them, and it’s very important that they have it in their minds.  Why?  Because when you FEEL in control, you are feeling good, or more optimistic.  When you FEEL in control, you’re more likely to take risks, put yourself out there and do what is necessary to bring about changes in life, work or in your business.

So how does one get more control?  Interestingly enough, it’s actually about letting go of it.

Ponder this for a moment.

When you feel the need to be in control of time, you don’t believe you have enough of it.

When you feel the need to be in control of your finances, deep down you’re very concerned about your financial stability.

When you feel the need to be in control of your business, the underlying belief underneath it is that you don’t have it.

When you feel the need to control your potential clients and get deals “over the line” in your small business or sales, on some base level you don’t fully believe that your potential clients will buy from you.

When you feel the need to control your relationships, you’re secretly worried that if you don’t control them things won’t work out.

What do all of those examples have in common?  Fear.  Fear of not having enough of something.

The more you believe you don’t have something, the more the universe gives you the experience of not having it (because that’s what you asked for), which then reinforces your belief that you don’t have it.

So how then, could you possibly get in control of having more of it?  By believing it’s already yours BEFORE you have evidence of it, and trusting that it’s already done.  

For example, if I want to have more control over time,  I set the tone for me having it, by thanking my higher power (in my case God) that I already have it.  I say an affirmation daily such as, “Thank you God for giving me more than enough time to get what I need done today.”  Then I forget about it, let it go and trust that it will be so.  And funny enough, I just seem to “find” more time in the day to do what I need to, even though I have the same amount of hours, minutes and seconds I did the day before.  I truly believe that I find more time because I believed I would and my faith was rewarded.

Now what if I didn’t look at things in spiritual terms?  It works just the same.

Because I’ve affirmed that I have more time and surrendered my worry about it, I’m no longer internally struggling with time and therefore in a relaxed mood about it.  Now that I’m relaxed about time, it opens me up to using it more creatively and finding more pockets to do what I need to do.  I simply cannot see time in this way and use it creatively when I’m so focused on the absence of it.  It makes complete sense.

So what do you need to get more in control of?  Whatever it is, affirm to yourself daily that you already have it, and act as if you do. And soon enough, you’ll have it.

 

 

 

 

 

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